Sunday, March 3, 2013

New Chapters

I'll be honest. Since Seth died, I dislike "new chapters".  Something about the concept of 'starting over' feels a lot like 'leaving behind'.  I don't want Seth left behind.  Just because he's not a daily part of our lives, doesn't mean he's not part of our family, for eternity even.

Nonetheless, he is NOT here and NOT part of our daily lives.

A lot of time has passed.  Since Seth. Since I blogged last.

We are doing well.  Really.  It surprises me a bit sometimes.  Seth would be turning five the end of this month. FIVE.  Five is Kindergarten and end of early childhood.  I just had a conversation with Cary this morning about the fact that Seth would be five and it's hard to wrap our brains around all that.  

Over New Year's, a friend on Facebook posted the six questions that James Lipton asks as part of "The Actor's Studio" interviews.  I only remember the sixth question; "What do you want to hear God say when you get to Heaven?"  For a long time after Seth died, my reaction to Heaven was along these lines:  I could go to Heaven ANYTIME and be reunited with Seth and oh yeah, Jesus will be there too.  That has changed.  

After a bit of thought, my answer to that question is this:
:Well done good and faithful servant!  SETH, your mama is here!".

The more I thought about that answer the more I liked the picture of Seth being so busy playing in Heaven, God has to get his attention for me when I get there.  Yup, for now, I can live with that.