Walkin' down Memory lane.. on foot, of course.

I realized something today. I am having a harder time remembering the happy moments with Seth. Not an IMPOSSIBLE time, just harder. So I've decided I'm going to try and get back to Wednesday's Walk Down Memory Lane with Lynnette and see if I can capture some of those, and other memories. I also want to remember some of the good memories our "big kids" have of Seth..

Today I had a moment memory with Kayleigh. We were cuddling in the rocking chair and she said something about Seth's feet. "Seth's feet were little." Yes, Kayleigh, Seth had little feet. "Not like MY feet." Not like your feet? Are your feet big? "Yes." "Mama, when Seth's feet get bigger, he wear MY shoes."

Tee hee, "He wear MY shoes." As if Seth would want to wear her little girl shoes! We DID talk about the fact that Seth was in Heaven and so he won't be wearing Kayleigh's shoes anytime soon. It was a sweet moment. I really treasure the times that my "big kids" and especially Kayleigh share Seth memories!

Kayleigh fell asleep in a weird position and I couldn't resist getting some pictures.

Not Me Monday - June 1, 2009

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did NOT look at my calendar and freak out, just a little, because it's already June. JUNE, people! What happened to May? And April and March, for Heaven's sake? Mind you, I did NOT react that way. I would NEVER get behind on calendar upkeep and be caught off guard by a new month (Sixth month of the year.. where the heck is 2009 going anyway?) That would NEVER happen, not at MY house.

I have not become a teeny, tiny bit obsessed with my stat counter since installing it. After all, I write this blog because I feel called to do it and it helps me process my feelings, gives me a place to share and remember with Seth. It is certainly NOT about how many readers I have. So I certainly have NOT been getting a little excited about being able to actually "claim" more than "five faithful followers". (Fifteen?) Nope, never happen, not at MY house.

I have NOT been shirking my household responsibilities in favor of other more fun activities (like blogging, and exploring stat counter statistics). I would NEVER make my kids wear clothes out of the dirty clothes hamper. That would be JUST wrong. I would certainly NOT let "Mt. Washmore" take over the whole laundry room.. (Uh, the whole house?) (For the record, if this WERE happening, it might possibly be because laundry has always been one of my weak points. In all fairness, it has been worse since Seth, but of course:) NEVER happen, not at MY house.

I did not abandon above mentioned household duties, today, in search of more fun for my family. After spending a bit of time doing park clean up for our church's "Outside the Walls" Sunday, Leland and I did not pack up the kids and head to the local amusement park. If we HAD done that, I would certainly not have joined my oldest son on a ride called "Panic Plunge". Said ride would not have been the type of ride that takes you 100+ feet straight up into the air over a mere 30 seconds, and then plummets you down over a mere FOUR seconds. Nope, I would NEVER take my 11 year old son on a ride like that. Never happen, not on MY watch.

Those are NOT Sean's feet (in black sandals) and my feet (attached to the embarrassingly white legs)

I did NOT scream like a girl. Sean and I did NOT agree that, yeah, we might do it again! (Not today!)

And we, as a family, did NOT finish our glorious weekend with a special little treat.

If you promise..

.. not to notice the horrific mess my house is, I'll share some fun pictures I took this morning. Would that be okay?


Quality wise, I don't have TERRIFIC pictures. I have a Kodak point and shoot digital camera. If I were getting a new digital camera today, I would pursue other options but for now this is what I have. I do enjoy taking pictures though, especially of the kids. And close-ups of flowers and things but Ill save THOSE for another day.

So, if you've been reading my blog at all lately (all five of my faithful readers..), you saw this post where I talk about patience. In it I alluded to asking my big boys to "stop wrestling or playing football in the living room for the fourth time in fifteen minutes." I know you all thought that was for mere comedic value. I present you with photographic proof!

What you CAN'T see in these pictures is that Kayleigh was sitting on top of that rubbermaid container, kicking it with her feet and chanting "De-Fense, De-Fense". She's such a cheerleader for her big brothers!

And no criticizing my messy living room, you promised!

Broken calendars...and a WINNER!

Today's been such an interesting day... It was the one year anniversary of bringing Seth home from the hospital as illustrated here. And really, as far as that goes, it was an okay day.

I have been a LOUSY calendar keeper for the past 7 months or so. I didn't realize how much so until just tonight. I have a brand new 2009 calendar. I JUST tonight broke the seal on it. I am trying to make summer plans for the kids, camp, etc.

As part of my process, I went through the 2008 calendar. It was bittersweet to see all the dates marked for Seth, during pregnancy (non-stress tests twice weekly, fetal echo's, etc) and after he was born. And as I went through the calendar, there were dates marked for his surgery and his heart cath. And there were dates written on by my mom when she was here taking care of the big kids for us. And there's a few things written on the calendar in October. And after that, the calendar is practically blank. Which says sad things about the type of mom I've been for these last 6 months. And telling things about what grief can do to us. ::::: sigh :::::::



Moving on....

Remember this little beauty here:

Uh, not the GIRL, the PUPPY. She has a name!! We (more on that in a moment) picked a winner. Can I just say how much I enjoyed this? Thanks to ALL of you for taking the time to comment and give us options to consider. I see why MckMama does contests. You guys are FUN to read!!

If you haven't already, go back and read the comments on this post. There were so many great choices. Some of our favorites (but NOT the winners, wish we were getting more than one dog!): Molly, Peaches, Sadie. One of my favorite entries was "Sydney" by HolliLynn. We might have even considered it EXCEPT:

That big momma dog with the little puppies? (Including ours!) SHE is already Sydney!!

So without further ado, because we've waited long enough, OUR puppy will be called:

SHEBA

Thanks to JD who wrote:
Sheba! She (she's a girl), and "Baaaaaaa" because she's a sheepdog / shepherd ;) S to honor the first letter in Seth's name. And Sheba is a Biblical name!And, well, puppies, they tend to rule the coop, and you know she'll reign in your house... Queen (of) Sheba?

JD, email me and I"ll get your gift card to you! Starbucks or Amazon? YOU pick!

For the record, I hadn't really thought of the "s" thing until you guys suggested it. A couple of different sources have Sheba as meaning "promise" in Hebrew and "kingdom" in Aramaic. I can live with that.

Oh, and that "we" I mentioned earlier? That would be Leland, I, and SEAN! That sneaky boy read my blog and has already been surprised with the knowledge that we're getting a puppy! He promised not to tell and agreed that Sheba was a good name!

Thanks for your help!!!

My First Ever Blogging Contest!

Saturday - 9:00pm: Comments now closed. Winner announcement coming soon.

Edited to include additional guidelines. See below.

Alright, readers (all four faithful followers, hee hee), I'm going to lighten things up a bit today and host my FIRST EVER BLOGGY CONTEST. Are you so excited? I AM! If you were paying attention on this post, and I'm guessing most of you were NOT as I did not get a SINGLE comment on the section to which I refer. Ahem. But I digress.


Our family is growing. Sssshhhh, don't tell the kids. It's still a surprise. We're getting a puppy! This adorable little sweetheart right here:

Isn't she cute? Her name is currently "Bailey" and while it's a perfectly adequate name, I suspect we'd have a lot of confusion around here. Cary & Kayleigh already sound a lot alike. Can you imagine if we add "Bailey" to the mix? Truthfully, I'm more worried about hollering at Kayleigh ("NO, Kayleigh!") and getting poor Bailey all disoriented. So we need to

NAME THIS PUPPY!

I'm not quite sure what the winner will get but I promise it'll be worthwhile. (I'm thinking a $10 gift card to Starbucks or Amazon). Plus, you get the honor of having named our puppy! All you need to do is leave a comment with your suggestion. I don't care if you have a bunch of suggestions but I'd REALLY appreciate it if you put them all as one comment, okay? So pretty much my only rule is one comment per person but feel free to make as many suggestions as you want within that one comment.

"Bailey" (soon to be someone else) is 100% Australian Shepherd. She's 4 weeks old and will likely be coming home soon. We're excited but she needs a name. And just so you know, I'm running the contest so I don't have to listen to my kids argue over what we name the dog! I'm going to just pick the winner and there we go!

I'll probably close the contest Saturday night. Thank you!

And just in case you'd like some additional guidance (you know, to increase your chances of being picked and all).. Our previous pets have either had "cute" names or names with meaning or some combination of the two.. I had hamsters, "Peanuts" & "Popcorn", a cat "Kisses" (cause she gave them out), dogs "Archie" which was short for Archimedes.. who in addition to being a famous old Greek guy, was the name of the owl on Sword in the Stone, & "Jitters".. We also had a Ginger and a Sophie, both already named when we recieved them and we kept those names. For this little one, I would like something somewhat feminine sounding, and with meaning!

If you've already entered, I am totally okay with your deleting your comment and substituting a new one with additional suggestions. When I close comments, I (and my husband who just found out about the contest, oops) will just go through the comments and see what we like!!

Have fun! Happy puppy naming!

Not Me Monday - May 11, 2009

OH, here we are again, Another NOT ME! Monday, which, incidentally, I am not getting posted late. Again.

So you might know the drill, MckMama recommends NOT ME! Monday as free therapy, where upon we confess to things we did NOT do during the previous week. Since I can't seem to post consistently (and I do NOT envy those who do!) I get to use stuff over a longer period of time. Because, you know, I could certainly NEVER fill a whole NOT ME! Monday post with only a week. Not at OUR house.

I did not, recently, sneak into my 11 year old son's bedroom, late at night, to check on him after getting home. I did not take my husband's word that said son was still awake. I did not stealthily creep into said bedroom, pulling myself up even with the bunk bed and pause while I checked to see if son, Sean, was actually asleep. Said son did NOT at that VERY moment, open his eyes and begin screaming. I do NOT feel guilty for having scared 10 years off the life expectancy of my oldest child. And I certainly did NOT console said child by assuring him that the GOOD news was that if he ever DID have an intruder in his room, he WOULD scream his head off and I most certainly would hear him. And after THAT little adventure was over, I did absolutely NOT collapse into a fit of giggles upstairs spurred on by my already hysterically laughing husband. Never happened. Not at our house!

I did not, recently, take pictures of my daughter solely for blog fodder. I certainly did not post said pictures here. After all, I would never let said daughter sleep on my bed with a dump truck. My beloved and I sleep on that bed! Nope, never happened. Not at our house!

Yesterday at church, my children did not make Mother's day gifts that were "spoonfuls of love" - wooden spoons with little tulle bags of candy attached. Said candy was not the candy coveted by most moms - chocolate. Said children did not then proceed to eat said candy. From. All. Three. Gifts. If they HAD, I would certainly NOT be upset about it. Nope. Not at OUR house.

Yesterday, I did NOT overeat on "spamwich" buns for lunch. I don't even like spamwich buns. They are certainly NOT a comfort food that we make because I remember them from my childhood. I certainly wouldn't find it an appropriate food to serve my MOM on MOTHER's Day. I'm not even sure it can be called "food" when the main ingredients are spam and velveeta. And after NOT over eating on "spamwich" buns, I would certainly NOT have let my children talk me into dinner out. That would just be silly for a woman who could already stand to lose too many pounds to specify to behave in such a manner. Never happen. Not at MY house.

I did not upon seeing a picture of myself on my pastor's blog, cringe. I did not consider emailing him and pleading with him to remove said post. I did not have to be talked out of those actions by my husband upon seeing myself on my pastor's other blog. IF that type of situation arose, I would simply be grateful that God was using our story in some small way. I would NEVER feel insecure about having my picture plastered all over the world wide web. Nope, not ME. Not at my house. And I most certainly did NOT, upon seeing that Pastor Glenn had added my blog to his blog listing, shriek out loud. I have much more decorum than that. Never happened. Not at my house.

Leland and I did not recently realize that it would be okay for us to acquire a new family member. If we had done that, we would certainly NOT be keeping it a secret from the kids. I would not be reluctant to tell others, fearing their reactions. And I would most definitely not be planning on revealing details on a post coming soon to a blog near you. Nope, never happen. Not at my house.

And lastly, just so you know I'm not going on forever, I did NOT end a very sweet Mother's Day by going to bed too late. And because I did not allow myself to get fatigued, I did NOT cry myself to sleep. (Although, if I had done that, it would just have been from missing Seth and WOULD be allowable at my house). Because I did NOT stay up too late last night, I was NOT incredibly irritated with my 3 year old daughter when she showed up in our bedroom at 5 am. I did NOT have to haul myself out of bed and around the house in a state of exhaustion while trying to get ready for work and make sure everyone had clothes to wear today. And why wouldn't we have clothes readily available? I am certainly NOT perpetually behind on laundry.

Nope. Never happened. Not at MY house!

Happy Mother's Kathryn Day 2009

Today was a gentle day. My favorite part, outside of the things God did as described in the post below, was the sweet gifts from my children.

Sean and Cary both made "presents" in school, using their thumbs! Sean's is the pink one, Cary's is purple..

In addition to that, they both gave me handmade cards. Sean's said "Happy Mother's Day" on the front. The inside said "because of all your hard work and dedication, you deserve a Happy Kathryn Day!" Do you love it??

Cary's gift included a letter. I'm writing it as he did, my corrections (so YOU can tell what it says) are in parentheses.

Der mom yor ies (eyes) are the leetblue (light blue) and you are cyut (cute) as Seth are the bast (best) mom in the wold I like you the wae you are

The best part? I mean besides the fact that I'm as cute as Seth.. After Cary read it to me, he burst into tears. Because he was just so happy!

A sweet, gentle day. My heart ached for Seth but was blessed by the presence (and presents, tee hee) of Sean and Cary. Thank you God for our family!

I do want to end this with an important request: I just found out that my dear friend, Chantelle's sweet daughter Tatyana is in the PICU. Taty has HLHS, as Seth did. She has had all 3 surgeries but is having some pretty serious compications currently - flu, pneumonia, protein losing enteropathy (PLE). Chantelle was a HUGE blessing to me when we were in the hospital with Seth, coming and spending some time just helping out with my "big boys". I have SO enjoyed her friendship and my heart hurts for her as I KNOW how much her mama heart is hurting. PLEASE pray for them!

Monday Miscellaneous..

So, I haven't done a Not Me Monday for awhile.. Partially because I haven't been blogging much lately.. Also because Stellan, MckMama's (host of Not Me Monday) sweet boy has been in the hospital with a heart condition, the same condition he almost died from in utero. They've had a rough go of it and are on week four in the PICU. Things seem to be stabilizing out a bit but Stellan still needs cardiac care and will eventually need an ablation. You can click on the "Praying for Stellan" button in my left sidebar. Anyway, I've been following their struggle, praying for Stellan and his family and it's hit, at times, a little close to home..

So, I re-did the blog to make myself feel a bit better.. Turns out that wasn't completely necessary as Easter, and our Lord, helped me feel a LOT better. But what do you think of the new layout? It's starting to feel a bit more like home!

And then there's this:

I FINALLY got my act together to participate. Lynnette, at "Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground" is featuring a blog every Monday & Friday, just to give us a chance to get to know each other a bit better. I LOVE the idea! You can get to her place by clicking on the Getting to Know You button (above or in left sidebar). Go, sign up! It'll be FUN!

And, last but CERTAINLY NOT least, I've won my first ever blogging award! How fun is that? I was totally surprised. But the sweet ladies at The Suite Life of Lucy & Ethel honored me with the "Friendship Award." I "met" Lucy, also known as Helen, when I won her book "The Jeffrey Journey" from Loni at Writing Canvas. I left a comment on Loni's post, Helen emailed me and it went from there. I read her inspiring book and have followed their blog a bit since. So they gave me the award with the comment:

We're sharing this award in the hope that you'll keep up the blogging :)http://thesuitelifeoflucyandethel.blogspot.com/2009/04/straw-wrappers-awards-and-prayers.html ~Lucy

How encouraging is that?? (Very!) And here it is:

And if I understand correctly, MY job is to pass "The Friendship Award" onto 8 blogs.. Here goes:

1. My friend Cathey who blogs at: And That's the Truth... Cathey and I have been job partners for almost two years, She & her husband, Keith, lost a son 20 years ago to Leigh's Disease. When Seth was in the hospital, they graciously came alongside Leland and I and walked that path with us. Words can't tell them how much they meant to us! I think they know... I couldn't pass on a FRIENDSHIP blogging award and not mention Cathey first!

2. The previously mentioned Loni at Writing Canvas Loni was one of the first bloggers I met who reached out and encouraged me. I commented on her blog a couple of times, emailed her when something she had written resonated with me in my grief. She emailed me back with sweet encouragement.

3. The also previously mentioned Lynnette at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground Lynette has also written a book, In Faithfulness He Afflicted Me, about the 3 children that have preceded her into Heaven. And she was an encouragement to me, as much as Loni.

4. Lauren Biggs who blogs at That Girl. Lauren is young but wise beyond her years and a sister in Christ. I enjoy her blog quite a bit.. finding myself wishing she would blog more often.

5. Jess who blogs at Mourning into Dancing. Jess is also a sweet sister in Christ. I enjoy her blog and appreciate her transparency and vulnerability! I'm not sure she'd consider ME a friend but I certainly consider her one!

6. Millie who blogs at Colin~HLHS Warrior. Millie and I met on the HLHS support group I was on before Seth went to Heaven. Millie still reads and comments on my blog. She recently checked in with me on my Facebook page and I appreciate HER friendship as well!

7. Emily at Stepping Stones: a path to healing after losing a child. I can almost guarantee that Emily doesn't know who I am. I check in with her blog frequently and appreciate her heart to help moms who have suffered what she has suffered.

8. I'm pretty sure this last person won't acknowledge this award but I've decided not to let that stop me! I'm going to pass it on to our lead pastor, Glenn Teal. Glenn blogs at Fully Devoted. I find his blog to be inspiring and helpful in pointing my focus upward to Christ. In addition to that, Glenn (and his wife Nancy) did a pretty amazing job coming alongside and supporting Leland & I when Seth was dying. We felt really supported and cared for by them, and still do!

Well.. given that this post about miscellaneous items may turn out to be one of my longest posts ever, I think I'll call it a night! I hope you enjoy meeting some of my new friends. Let me know if you find a favorite among them. I think they are all gems!

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

It's been awhile.. Let's see if I can remember how this works.

I did NOT get home from a wonderful vacation and THEN develop a common traveler's ailment that has kept me running to the bathroom most of the night. And if that had happen, I would most certainly NOT admit it here on my blog. Because that would just be wrong!

I did NOT wake up in the middle of the night, with a start, realizing I had forgotten things my kids said or did on our vacation that I was going to specifically remember. Of course this did not happen. Stuff I wanted to remember I would have WRITTEN down somewhere, right? (Written it down.. to remember. What a novel concept. Ha ha. Pun not intended!).

And the aforementioned stuff that I did not forget? I did not intend to remember it JUST to use it for blog fodder.

I did NOT lose patience with Kayleigh on our plane ride home and attempt to pretend that I did not own this small wiggly child sitting RIGHT next to me (and no other parent.. her & I in a 3 person row all alone).

I most certainly did NOT get frustrated with the lady in front of Kayleigh who kept turning to glare at me EVERY time Kayleigh even touched the back of the seat in front of her. I did not give that lady a piece of my mind telling her that we too paid for our seats and have every right to be on the half empty plane. If it bothered her so much, she could have moved into the empty exit row window seat directly in front of her. Actually, I really did NOT do that last part, but I wanted to!

And on THAT note of limited self restraint, I have a little girl begging me to find her princess hat. I think it's in the luggage which I did NOT leave laying in the middle of our living room floor all day yesterday.

Interview with my kids

So a fun kid interview thing has hit a couple of my friends on Facebook.. I got tagged on it and thought I'd do it here to share with my four faithful readers (if you haven't given up on me after my recent three week absence).

Out of the mouths of babes come the darndest things...

Cut and paste these questions and ask your kids their answers....it is a RIOT!

****First answers are from Sean, age 10, second line, Cary age 7, third line, Kayleigh, age 3 (until she got bored & left, and her answers more reflect recent activities)*******


1. What is something Mommy always says to you?
I love you
Do your homework.
No.


2. What makes Mommy happy?
When me & Cary cooperate
When I don't do anything bad.
My smile

3. What makes Mommy sad?
When we don't cooperate
When Seth died
Cry

4. How does your Mommy make you laugh?
By tickling me.
I can't really say anything for that.. it's too hard to describe.
::: laughes :::::

5. What was your Mommy like as a child?
I don't know
that's why I don't know.
baby

6. How old is Mommy?
40
40, right?
big

7. How tall is Mommy?
I don't know
I don't know
big (holds hand up)

8. What is Mommy's favorite thing to do?
Spend time with us
Have a vacation
Give toys to baby Seth

9. What does Mommy do when you're not around?
I don't know, I'm not there to see.
Work on cleaning up the house
I go with my dad

10. If Mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
Bringing world peace
for the poor, helping the poor kind of.
iron there

11. What is Mommy really good at?
Being a mom
typing
going to the beach and getting all dirty

12. What is Mommy not very good at?
Sports
planting


13. What does Mommy do for a job?
She's a secretary at church
work at the office of the church

14.What is Mommy's favorite food?
Something that I don't like
I can't say anything

15.What makes you proud of Mommy?
When she buys me something.
When she cleans my room for me.


16. If Mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Sandy Cheeks (from SpongeBob)
Mrs. Mimi (a made up one)


17. What do you and Mommy do together?
We just spend time together
we laugh together


18. How are you and Mommy the same?
We both have glasses
there's nothing the same

19. How are you and Mommy different?
I'm a boy & she's a girl.
Because her eyes are blue and mine aren't

20. How do you know Mommy loves you?
Because she takes care of me.
Because she tells me.


21. What does Mommy like most about Daddy?
I don't know
I don't know


22. Where is Mommy's favorite place to go?
Church
San Diego


23. Who is Mommy's favorite person?
Me, no, God, God.. God.
Her kids

That was eye opening! I find it amusing that they answered the same questions as I don't know and regarding # 10, my kids have some big expectations!

Disney Daze

We have been in Disneyland!! We are so blessed to have friends and family who felt it was important for us to get to do something fun. When we were in the hospital with Seth, I told Leland that no matter how things turned out, we NEEDED to do something fun with our "big kids". This became known as our "life affirming vacation". I think it proved to the kids, and myself, that life WILL go on and we WILL be okay.

In addition to just experiencing the WARM weather in southern California (and it's SNOWED at home!), we were blessed to experience true Disney magic. We were able to visit the park for a couple of days courtesy of a Disney employee who's a "friend of a friend". We were also instructed to check in to City Hall on Wednesday morning (our first day in the park). Upon checking in, we recieved a small package. It included a letter that shared a bit about the magic awaiting us, and mouse ears with Seth's name on them! I was so touched by that.. I wanted Mouse Ears for Seth because when I explained to Sean how we could afford this trip (on the generosity of others, trying to help us feel better after losing Seth, and no doubt listening to God), Sean said "So in a way, Seth gave us this trip?". Yes, buddy, Seth gave us this trip and what better way to memorialize it than Mouse Ears for Seth!

So what other kind of magic did we experience? Well, I'm so glad you asked! We recieved a "Magic Pass" for the Finding Nemo submarine ride. This was the ride Kayleigh had been most looking forward to. We rushed over there Wednesday right after rope drop and a very sweet cast member walked us to the front of the line AND joined us on the ride. She filled us in on all kinds of fun facts & trivia regarding the Nemo ride and the old submarine ride, showed us the Hidden Mickey and generally increased our atomosphere of fun. After Nemo, we headed over to it's a Small World and then straight over to Mark Twain where arrangements were in place for us to ride in the Wheel House. Sean, Cary & Kayleigh got to "steer" the big ol' Riverboat and even pull the bells & whistles! The rest of Wednesday was on our own and relatively uneventful.

Thursday & Friday we explored the parks some more. Spent time hauling Kayleigh on rides that were "too scawy for me", poor girl! Friday afternoon, we had preferred seating for the Pixar Play Parade which was an AWESOME perk and after that we were joined by some friends in the park. We got to have fun with them Friday evening and all day Saturday. Sunday was our last day in the park and we had lunch at Princess Ariel's grotto, the best part of which was the YUMMY desserts!

We had more adventures that I may share later. Overall, our Disneyland trip was a HUMONGOUS success and we are following it up with a day or two at my sister's home. We are indeed blessed!

Wha..? Wah.....

That would be my reaction earlier today when I read this. Well... that's not EXACTLY true. First I read an email from Lynnette and THEN I read that. Quick. click on it and go see. I"ll wait.

Are you back? Don't you think Kayleigh will be EXCITED? We won a BEAUTIFUL handmade doll from Baby Be Blessed! (Their button is over there on the side of my blog, check them out!). I"m hoping to have it in time for Kayleigh's birthday. Or maybe Valentine's Day. I haven't actually talked to the people at BbB yet.. MAYBE, just maybe, I can get the boys each one too. Wouldn't it be cool if they all had Seth dolls? With SCRIPTURE on them!! Did you know that about Baby be Blessed? ALL of their dolls, I believe all of their products, leave the shop with a scripture on them. What a wonderful way to share the Word of God. What a ministry. I"m so touched.

When I entered, it was Sunday night, I was comment #21. I really didn't think we had a chance to win. And I was okay with that. I knew if it was meant to be, God would take care of it. And here we are! Kayleigh will have a Baby be Blessed. I can NOT wait.

Stay tuned! I"ll be sure and share when we "meet" our little BbB darling!

Baby Smiles - Walk with Me Wednesday

Welcome to my first ever, THE first ever, Walk with me Wednesday - Down Memory Lane. I LOVE the fact that Lynnette has decided to do this and open it up to all of us. I am a terrible historian, a lousy "record-keeper". I wish I were better at it, but I'm too much of a perfectionist. So, I'm THRILLED to have the opportunity (and excuse!) to do it here.

My first memory is a memory of mine but it also illustrates what a gift siblings are to each other. All of my babies smiled at about the "average" time, between 6 & 8 weeks of age. I remember Sean's very first baby smile. I was holding him on my lap, facing me. His little head in my hands, I was chatting away to him and he SMILED at me. I remember that giddy feeling, like when you had a crush in high school and the boy you like smiled at you! Sean was a very serious baby, we had to work hard for those smiles so they were all precious.

Three and a half years later, along came Cary. Sean was a big brother! And a great one, he was SO sweet to HIS "baby Cawee". It was obvious that Cary loved him too. Christmas Eve, 2001, I was holding Cary on my lap, he was facing sideways. Sean got up and came in the living room, walked over to greet us. He was SO animated with his baby brother! AND... Cary smiled at Sean! Sean was the recipient of Cary's very first smile! Cary was a much smilier baby than Sean, he handed them out like candy. But all those smiles were still precious and Sean got the very first one!

Almost four years later, along came Kayleigh! And how do you suppose HER first smile played out? She gave it to Cary! (You saw that one coming didn't you? Kayleigh was laying on her back on the couch. Cary came along to chat with her and pretty soon Cary's shrieking "Her smiled at me, her smiled at ME".. Now, I didn't witness it, but I did see smiles later that day and I believe it happened.

A mere two years later, here's baby Seth! One day, very shortly after coming home from the hospital, I was sitting on the sofa with Kayleigh and Seth. (I suspect the big boys were at school). We were just hanging out, having some cuddle time. Kayleigh was talking to Seth a bit. (And maybe he could understand her, I certainly couldn't at that point!). All of a sudden, Seth's face lit up. His eyes sparkled and he flashed a large gummy smile, RIGHT at Kayleigh! Now, in all fairness, Kayleigh was not quite as thrilled as her brothers had been when they received first smiles.. I suspect she didn't quite understand the importance of the moment. I was thrilled.. And excited that our family tradition continued. I think it's pretty darn special that all of my babies saved their first smiles for their next closest siblings. Something I always want to remember....

Click on the above button to check out more Walk with Me Wednesday Memories. (If I get a chance I'll upload photos later)

Stocking Swap

So this year I participated in the Stocking Swap organized by Tara at The Well-Rounded Woman. I was So excited when my package came (a day or two before Christmas) to discover that I was recieving stocking stuffers from Tara herself! I followed the instructions and Kayleigh and I carefully put the unopened box under the tree for Leland to stuff my stocking with on Christmas eve.

And look what I got! Some post it notes (and really, who, in a house full of people can NOT find use for post its?), root beer flavored lip gloss, nail polish, a file, a beaded bracelet (lots of jewelry this Christmas, is that a hint?), some lovely note cards with a "K" (that would be for Kathryn!) embossed on the corner, some Avon lip balm, AND a dark chocolate bar. Yum. (I'm hoarding that while we eat up the cheaper, not good for us chocolate first!). The penguin card in the corner had a lovely note from Tara. I was really touched by her thoughtfulness and LOVED knowing that I'd have a stocking full of gifts on Christmas morning. (Leland tries hard every year but you know..)

Thanks, Tara, it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to do it again next year!

Christmas Day

Christmas Day was a beautiful, amazing, blessed day. I can only credit the Grace of God and thank those who lifted our family up in prayer. Speaking for myself (and isn't that what this blog is for anyway?), I had mere moments of melancholy; overall, a truly blessed day.

We were SO blessed. The kids had many, many presents with the Christmas Wish and the hospital helping out for them. And us. Leland and I had many unexpected blessings as well. I recieved some wonderful yummy smelling bath items, a framed print I had coveted many moons ago (which soon gets its very own blog post!). Leland got a beautiful trench coat. And the kids.. Kayleigh recieved My Little Ponies, Barbies, etc. The boys got Spy Gear, and books, and movies. Everyone was pleased and blessed. We didn't have to cook. We had a calm easy morning, laid Kayleigh down for a much needed nap and after she awoke, headed out to Leland's mom's for dinner. We were pleased to not get stuck coming or going!

We had started our whole day with a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday to you, Dear Jesus". I acknowledge that all of our blessings are gifts from our Saviour God who loves us. I am grateful for those in our lives who share their blessings with us so we continue to physically be reminded of that Love.

September 27, 2008

So Friday was "care conference" day. I think Leland and I were a teeny bit fearful of what we might here. It turned out fine. Some uncomfortable things were said regarding decisions that may (or may not) have to be faced in the future but the overwhelming consensus was that we're a ways from that point and currently, nobody is giving up on Seth. The first goal is to get him breathing on his own. Once the vent is removed, Seth can be weaned off some of his sedation and we can get a better idea of how he's doing clinically. The neurologist repeated that we may be looking at "moderate to severe" damage. The cardiologist voiced some concern about whether or not Seth would tolerate needed surgeries in the future. Those are not things that we have to worry about RIGHT this second however. We were again reminded that only time will show how much damage Seth's brain has or hasn't suffered and so we wait! (And pray. And pray some more!)

Today was, once again, a new day. And God's mercies are new every morning (and I dare say, afternoon, evening & night as well!). I was originally a little under the weather and so I didn't get up to the hospital until about 3pm. Leland got up sooner. He arrived bearing cupcakes to celebrate Seth's "half-birthday" (6 months old today!). The nurses sang Happy Birthday from the nurse's station.

Today Seth was running a low-grade fever (much lower than lately). His cultures have all come back negative so far. He's been weaned quite a bit on the ventilator. As of 9:30pm he was still intubated but doing most of the actual work of breathing on his own. He seems "calmer" today and has not been exhibiting the "posturing" (stiffening of limbs) that we were seeing earlier this week. Over the last couple of days we've seen him open & close his eyes although he rarely appears to focus. I couldn't be ABSOLUTELY sure but I"m fairly positive that he DID track my finger super-briefly today. All those things keep us hopeful. More than that of course, we find our hope in the Lord!

Please join us in offering prayers for some of our family in Christ. The Thomases and family, as they grieve the loss of Mitch, son, brother, wife. At the too young age of 28, he went home to the Lord this week and his life was celebrated in a service at our church today. Also, the family of my friend, Lily, especially her brother, Robyn. He was diagnosed with cancer earlier this summer and now has more tumors and signs of a different cancer. Please offer up prayers for comfort, peace & healing for these families. Thank you so much for your support!