OH, here we are again, Another NOT ME! Monday, which, incidentally, I am not getting posted late. Again.
So you might know the drill, MckMama recommends NOT ME! Monday as free therapy, where upon we confess to things we did NOT do during the previous week. Since I can't seem to post consistently (and I do NOT envy those who do!) I get to use stuff over a longer period of time. Because, you know, I could certainly NEVER fill a whole NOT ME! Monday post with only a week. Not at OUR house.
I did not, recently, sneak into my 11 year old son's bedroom, late at night, to check on him after getting home. I did not take my husband's word that said son was still awake. I did not stealthily creep into said bedroom, pulling myself up even with the bunk bed and pause while I checked to see if son, Sean, was actually asleep. Said son did NOT at that VERY moment, open his eyes and begin screaming. I do NOT feel guilty for having scared 10 years off the life expectancy of my oldest child. And I certainly did NOT console said child by assuring him that the GOOD news was that if he ever DID have an intruder in his room, he WOULD scream his head off and I most certainly would hear him. And after THAT little adventure was over, I did absolutely NOT collapse into a fit of giggles upstairs spurred on by my already hysterically laughing husband. Never happened. Not at our house!
I did not, recently, take pictures of my daughter solely for blog fodder. I certainly did not post said pictures here. After all, I would never let said daughter sleep on my bed with a dump truck. My beloved and I sleep on that bed! Nope, never happened. Not at our house!
Yesterday at church, my children did not make Mother's day gifts that were "spoonfuls of love" - wooden spoons with little tulle bags of candy attached. Said candy was not the candy coveted by most moms - chocolate. Said children did not then proceed to eat said candy. From. All. Three. Gifts. If they HAD, I would certainly NOT be upset about it. Nope. Not at OUR house.
Yesterday, I did NOT overeat on "spamwich" buns for lunch. I don't even like spamwich buns. They are certainly NOT a comfort food that we make because I remember them from my childhood. I certainly wouldn't find it an appropriate food to serve my MOM on MOTHER's Day. I'm not even sure it can be called "food" when the main ingredients are spam and velveeta. And after NOT over eating on "spamwich" buns, I would certainly NOT have let my children talk me into dinner out. That would just be silly for a woman who could already stand to lose too many pounds to specify to behave in such a manner. Never happen. Not at MY house.
I did not upon seeing a picture of myself on my pastor's blog, cringe. I did not consider emailing him and pleading with him to remove said post. I did not have to be talked out of those actions by my husband upon seeing myself on my pastor's other blog. IF that type of situation arose, I would simply be grateful that God was using our story in some small way. I would NEVER feel insecure about having my picture plastered all over the world wide web. Nope, not ME. Not at my house. And I most certainly did NOT, upon seeing that Pastor Glenn had added my blog to his blog listing, shriek out loud. I have much more decorum than that. Never happened. Not at my house.
Leland and I did not recently realize that it would be okay for us to acquire a new family member. If we had done that, we would certainly NOT be keeping it a secret from the kids. I would not be reluctant to tell others, fearing their reactions. And I would most definitely not be planning on revealing details on a post coming soon to a blog near you. Nope, never happen. Not at my house.
And lastly, just so you know I'm not going on forever, I did NOT end a very sweet Mother's Day by going to bed too late. And because I did not allow myself to get fatigued, I did NOT cry myself to sleep. (Although, if I had done that, it would just have been from missing Seth and WOULD be allowable at my house). Because I did NOT stay up too late last night, I was NOT incredibly irritated with my 3 year old daughter when she showed up in our bedroom at 5 am. I did NOT have to haul myself out of bed and around the house in a state of exhaustion while trying to get ready for work and make sure everyone had clothes to wear today. And why wouldn't we have clothes readily available? I am certainly NOT perpetually behind on laundry.
Nope. Never happened. Not at MY house!