One of the things I haven't shared on my blog, much, is how desperately I've been praying for away to share Seth's story. I long to reach out to others in some way because I so desire to see some good come out of Seth's short time with us. I haven't shared much here because I really want it to be a work of God and I've been waiting on Him to reveal that. As of yet, one of the things I have been doing is taking Kleenex boxes up to the hospital (I don't know about all hospitals, but the Kleenex provided in our PICU is a JOKE. Sandpaper, smallish. Ridiculous, really). To date, I'm still waiting on God for some kind of "significant" (knowing my defintion and God's likely differ!) ministry. I have however been blessed with small opportunities to reach out to people and share the impact Seth has had on MY life.
We have been doing a series on "The Fruit of the Spirit: Inside Out" at the church I attend, Timberview Christian Fellowship. We started with "Learning to Love", then "Jumping into Joy", "Pursuing Peace", and today "Practicing Patience."
We began, as we often do, with an amazing time of worship. One of the songs we sang really touched my heart and I actually wrote down a couple of the lyrics to share with you!
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades,
Neverending, Your glory goes beyond all fame,
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise,
From the inside out, Lord, my soul cries out.
To say the last year has been difficult for our family would be an understatement.
I'm not proud to admit that in my longing to be alone in my grief and process the journey our family has been on, I have spent almost as much time resenting my 3 "big kids" as I have rejoicing in them. And in that, I've learned many lessons. I've learned patience with myself. It is cliche to say that "I'm a work in progress" but it IS true. As a believer, walking with the Lord, I'm still growing, and thank God for that! Maybe you too could learn that lesson in whatever you are dealing with. God is certainly patient with us.
In 1st Thessalonians 5:14, Paul urges us to "help the weak, be patient with everyone." I can think of no job description that requires that more than being a mom. As I listen to my 3 year old daughter Kayleigh ask me "why" for the thousandth time in a day, and as I ask our sons Cary and Sean to stop wrestling or playing football in the living room for the fourth time in 15 minutes, I exercise patience I didn't know I had. But it is a patience I choose by leaning into the Lord and asking for more of Him every day.
I have a painting in my living room with a quote I've grown particularly fond of. "Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith."
I am blessed with love, hope, faith and patience. What a great God we have!