God is good.

All. the. time.

There are so many interesting (for lack of a better word) things to learn on this journey called "grief". One of the thing that amazes me is how I can be gob-smacked (I'm sure I've heard that word somewhere) out of nowhere. Like tonight.

I was at a sports practice of Sean's. Cary & Kayleigh were running around like little maniacs. A woman came in and sat down a little ways from us with her beautiful baby boy. Pretty soon, Kayleigh was over there; smiling at baby, touching him, holding his hand. Every now & then she would say something but from where I was sitting, I couldn't make out the words. I moved closer to keep tabs on the situation. Kayleigh ran off. The mom & I said "Hi", made some small talk. I introduced myself; here, we'll call her Mary & baby, N. I took a deep breath and asked how old baby N is.

"Nine months."
"So, March... ?"
"March 27th."

Silence. Honestly, I felt sucker punched. That baby is Seth's age. To. The. Day.

I sat there, debating whether or not to say anything. What to say anyway? "Oh, Your beautiful baby has the same birthday as my dead one." No, that's not quite right. "My baby was born that day too.." But then to explain where he is now?

Here's Kayleigh again, touching baby, holding his hand. She kept looking at him, like she KNEW that he should be/could be "her baby 'feth'". M said to Kayleigh, "You're very good with babies". Ah, here it is, my opening. I took a deep breath, "well, she had a little brother at home and he died".

And this is where God shows up, trumpets practically blaring! M had a baby boy die too and he would be two years old tomorrow. How amazing is God? I'm sitting there, sucker-punched, wounded, missing my baby boy so badly I almost can NOT breathe, and sitting next to me, is a woman who knows my pain. We had a blessed conversation from that point. She shared her story. I happened to have a little photo book (of Seth & family) my friend, J, sent me at Christmas which I shared. I have an open invitation to hold sweet N whenever I'd like to, and if I wouldn't, that's okay too.

It amazes me how God uses this journey. As much as it hurts, it's exciting to see where He leads and how this will be used for His good in our lives!