Have you seen the ad for this? In the last scene of the ad, Nicolas Cage's character is tucking his son into bed. And this adorable little boy says to his dad: "Are we going to die?". And do you KNOW what his dad says? He answers with: "I will NEVER let that happen." ARGH.
Everytime I see this commercial, I want to scream. "I will never let that happen." As. If. As if he has any control. As if he can make that promise. Of course, I remember being that comfortable with life. I remember thinking I had any kind of control.
:::Sigh:::
In June, I took the big boys to "Sibs Day" at the hospital. Usually they do it for oncology families but this year they opened it up to all families with a chronically ill child. The boys spent some time learning about blood (they LOVED that part) and discussing feelings they might have as our family was affected by Seth's medical condition. I got to spend some time in some sessions for parents and getting pampered by a "spa" afternoon. At the end of the day, I drove the boys home, all excited about the gifts they'd recieved (a backpack full of stuff, snacks, games, for when mom was busy with Seth) and what they'd learned. In the van, Sean said to me, "Mom, did you know that cancer is not contagious?". "Sean, I TOTALLY knew that. Did YOU know that Seth's heart defect is not contagious?" "Really?" Sean said.
That night, as I was tucking the boys into bed, the conversation continued. What I remember the most is that Sean asked me: "Could Seth die from this?". I wanted to say No. I wanted to assure him that Seth would be JUST fine. That we would have normal happy lives. Instead, I took a deep breath and answered as honestly as I could. "Yes, Sean, Seth COULD die from this. But mommy & daddy are doing the best we can, and we're giving him his medicines like we're supposed to and the doctor's are doing what they can. We pray and ask God to keep Seth healthy. But, yes, he could die."
I wish I could have said "I'll never let that happen."
I'm thankful that I was honest.
6 comments:
I'm glad you were honest, too! Kids need to know that death IS a part of life and that it CAN happen to anyone at any age (not to make them unnecessarily frightened) so when it does happen they aren't caught off guard, angry, and thinking God's not fair. What you said to Sean was PERFECT and HONEST and REAL. Dumb Hollywood.
It's a sad and horrible subject to deal with, but you are absolutely right: You needed to be honest and you were. {{{HUGS}}}
Oh Kathryn, I actually saw that commercial a week or two ago and I saw that scene and I immediately thought of you and Seth. I got angry and it upset me so I can only imagine that it was a million times harder for you. I'm sorry you had to see that and that it hurt you. Sending love.
So as I've been reading these comments (and I JUST saw that stupid commercial AGAIN), I've been thinking more about this.. It annoys me that my kids, who have enough heartache in their lives might see that. That they might think THAT parent really has that kind of power. Cathey had it right, Dumb Hollywood.
I felt some of the same things when I saw that. It's hard knowing your kids KNOW that bad things really CAN happen to their family. But, in reality, we are all going to die someday, right? So why tell your kids otherwise? When my kids ask if they could die like Annika, I tell them that I think they will live a long long time and die when they are old--that sometimes children die like Annika, but most people live until they are old. They seem ok with that. We've also talked a lot about life after death--that her spirit still lives, etc, and I think that takes away some of the fear of death, to some extent.
But I agree--Hollywood is just dumb.
Kathryn,
I know that Jesus is saying he will never let death again have any sting.
I praise God for that.
I love you, sweet sister.
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