Saturday, October 18, 2008

Another Good bye

Friday (yesterday) was Seth's Memorial Service. His life was celebrated in a beautiful manner. I"m so blessed to be a part of a church community with such willing and talented people. Beth put together a beautiful slide show. Cary sobbed with each picture. And while I took many of those pictures, and I was the one who sent them to Beth, I was very touched by the presence of all those people who loved Seth.. Their presence IN the slideshow and the presence in the sanctuary of all the people who love our family. Many of the people who attended yesterday's celebration for Seth hadn't actually met our sweet boy. Due to his heart condition, our visiting and travels were kept to a bit of minimum over this past summer. The fact that those people would still gather to honor his short life was very meaningful to us.

Pastor Glenn gave a loving message, Randy gave a sweet tribute. The song "Glory Baby" by Watermark was sung beautifully by April Young and Jillian Willis. The food was plentiful. All in all, it was exactly what I "wanted" (knowing that nobody ever WANTS to do this). I found it to be a meaningful, beautiful goodbye, worthy of our sweet baby boy. When it was all over, I was spent.

I woke up this morning, though, and realized that even as I thought that could be a "final goodbye" that was not to happen. I think (and I'm still very new to this journey) that we'll have a series of goodbyes.. every day, everything we have to do without our baby Seth will be a new goodbye. We took Cary to his football game this morning. Our entire family. Minus Seth of course. And in every first time and next time that we do anything "minus Seth" will be a good bye.

Until we are with him again.


Cathey said...

I'm sorry that the missing him doesn't end with the memorial service. Twenty years later, there are still "missing him" moments. But time helps them feel comforting instead of hard. I continue to pray for all of you.

Chaffin Family said...

Oh kathryn I so wish I had the correct words to say to you. you are in my prayers, Kim

Millie said...

You are such a beautiful writer. You put your thoughts on paper (or compter :) ) so wonderfully. How about not saying "good bye", but "unitl we meet again", since you will meet again in Heaven. You will get to see Seth again, even if it does feel like an eternity until that happens.
Millie and Colin-HLHS

Helen said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I am thankful that you have your blog to maybe help you process through this, and I feel honored to have been able to let you share a little bit of this sorrow and struggle and bright hope with me.

I cannot even imagine this... I know God must be so very good--His children are able to survive so much, and you have done so with much grace.

Chaffin Family said...

Hello my friend, I love the new things you have done to the blog. Cathey and you have the best looking templates I have seen so far. I love the picture at the top. I almost cried when I saw it. what a beautiful blessing seth was to everyone. I hope to see you at bible study on tues. My friend stephanie joined our group and I want to introduce you two. Love and hugs to you. Kim

Chris said...

Always thinking and praying for you and your family. I love the new pics, very sweet and beautiful.

Joyce said...

Im so sorry about the loss of your son and what you are going thru right now. You have never met me but I was interested in your blog via another because of Seth's heart condition. I am a NICU nurse as well as a community nurse and my greatest joys have been taking care of kids with heart problems. They are the most beautiful children that have walked on this earth. You were blessed with a heart baby and what a gorgeous boy he was. I read back and in one post you commented on his beautiful eyes - and I believe that these kids have wisdom in their eyes - perhaps they realize that their time on earth is short. Im so sorry that you no longer have your boy to cuddle and to love, and snuggle with and so enjoy - my heart goes out to you as you need to continue on without him being physically with you.
May God's large and comforting arms surround you and carry you as you walk this road with your family.
Adopted mum of a milder heart problem child