Friday, May 22, 2009
for from my kids #1
I'm starting a brand new non-consecutive series. For more details, read here.
The first lesson I"m going to share comes from Kayleigh. Obviously, since she is my 3rd child and Leland and I parented for 8 years before she came along, this is not the first lesson I've received. It is the one God's been working on my heart with lately...
So lately I've been thinking about trust. How/if/when I trust the Lord in my life. (What? You thought I had it all figured out? Ha! Sorry to disillusion you.). One of my first favorite verses (as I'm sure it is for a lot of people) has always been from Proverbs 3:5-6. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."
It's fascinating to me how my understanding of that verse, my willingness to trust the Lord and my ability to surrender have grown over the years. I remember the first time I heard/read that verse thinking "YES! That's what I want." and I began, or so I thought, to trust in the Lord with ALL my heart. And then, years later, Kayleigh was born. I remember those first few months going from two to three being so hard. One day, I just laid down before the Lord and said "I can NOT do this." God said "Trust in me with ALL your heart" (and there was something about "it's about time, Kathryn, Ive been waiting for you.). And I did. Or at least I tried to lay myself down before the Lord.
If you've read this blog at all, you know we've been on quite a journey for the last year and a half. I would like to say that trusting the Lord has been second nature and make it sound easy. But it's not. I DAILY have to lay myself down and surrender what *I* want for what God wants for me. And honestly, some days, I do not even know what that looks like! So I just put forth my feeble efforts.... and THIS is where the lesson from Kayleigh finally comes in! Recently, Kayleigh broke a toy.
It wasn't THAT toy but it was basically a cheap plastic Happy Meal toy. She was mildly upset when I said we would have to throw it out. "But honey, it's broken." Her response? Without ANY doubt in her voice: "Daddy fick it." Daddy fix it. She didn't need to ask him. She didn't need to see if he could. She just trusted he would. Daddy will fix it. And God spoke to my heart about trusting Him completely.
The issues in my life? HE can fix it. My broken heart? Let Daddy - My Abba Father - fix it.
"Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart." Again, I'm reminded, ALL my heart. Even and especially the wounded, sad, aching parts of my heart. Again, I work on laying it all down, surrendering to the Lord. It's not easy (ever) but Jesus loves me. Together, we'll get there.
Daddy fix it. Amen.